A Love Story
by Dawnfalle
Summary: Victor Nikiforov, a work of art, cradled in my arms, whispered my name. "Yuuri..." * Set after the events of Season 1.
1. Chapter 1: Love as a multifaceted thing

**A/N:** **Hey there!**

 **Here's to the beginning of a brand new roller-coaster ride. I promise you'll be rewarded, but bear with me for a bit. I want to build things slowly in order to enjoy them to the full extent.**

 **I'll do my best to update as regularly as I can (mental deadline: every two days until uni starts, min once every week after uni starts).**

 **Let's mutually agree on something: I don't want to feed you bullshit, so be straight-forward with me if there's something you don't like. This is a work in progress, so I might go back and change things up.**

 **I love you guys, I love YOI and I love the YOI fandom. Let's have a blast! ^-^**

Finally, the Grand Prix Final was over, and we'd be going on a much needed break.

I tried to think of the last time we'd done something relaxing, and the first thing that came into my mind was the sight-seeing trip in Barcelona. Victor and I had spent a beautiful day, concluded in the best way possible. I could still hear the sound of the choir sometimes and pictured myself standing at the cathedral with Victor, his hand in mine, and matching rings on our fingers.

That night, Victor had laid with his limbs splayed over his bed, a breath's distance from me. He rarely wore a top when he went to bed, and I'd watched his chest rise and fall as he slept. He had such an innocent look about him then. I was used to seeing him as his usual confident self, but asleep he looked so... vulnerable.

Dangling from the side of the bed was his hand, and around his finger, the ring I had given him shone under the moonlight. He hadn't taken the ring off even when he slept, and that me unreasonably happy.

After the final, we'd decided to go to St. Petersburg.

Victor was waiting for me with Yurio at his side, on one of the 300 hundred bridges in St. Petersburg, this particular one crossing the Fontanka River. His face beamed when he spotted me running towards them, breathless.

How could a city be so cold yet so beautiful at the same time?

I stopped and Victor gave me a hug.

"Yuuri! You made it!" The tips of his ears were pink, and I decided they looked very cute.

I managed a smile. "Y-yeah."

Yurio jumped off the railings he had been sitting on and hit my back with his palm. "Welcome to Russia, katsudon."

I straightened and smiled. This was a warm greeting by Yurio standards.

"Let's get moving!" Victor hopped on his bike and rode forth, Makkachin and Yurio trailing behind him. Some things never changed, regardless of where you were in the world.

Nevertheless, being in Russia felt odd. I had spent a long time away from home before, but I couldn't help feeling slightly uneasy. Everything around me was in an illegible language and everything just seemed foreign, from the buildings to the trees.

This must've been how Victor felt when he came to Hasetsu.

I realized I was already far behind them and started running. If being in Russia meant being with Victor, I was ready to spend my entire life here.

Yurio was showing me how to jump with raised arms, when Victor returned from lunch.

" _You_ look happy," Yurio pointed out dejectedly.

Victor's lips were pressed like he was trying to suppress a smile, but his eyes shone like bright pools.

"Did something happen?" I asked.

Victor nodded, holding his breath.

"Oi!" Yurio exclaimed. "Spill it out already and stop wasting our time!"

Miffed by the commotion, Yakov came over to us. "What's going on here? Vitya, why are you making that face?"

"Yakov! I met someone!"

Yakov's face fell. "Oh, this again," he said and walked away.

"What?! Vitya met someone?" Mila skated over, all ears. "Who is it? What are they like?"

"Her name is Irina," Victor said. "I met her at the restaurant; she gave me her number. And I think I'm in love."

I hardly understood anything Victor said after that.

 _Victor met someone._

Of course he did. He was Victor Nikiforov. Men and women died to meet him. But what made this one so special? Why did she get his attention? How... how could she have Victor's heart, when I...

"That's great," I said, cutting Victor off. Mila and Victor looked surprised, and Yurio looked like he couldn't care less about this issue. "Good for you, Victor." I said as I pushed myself off the wall and gained speed.

Envy... I felt envious of someone I hadn't even met yet.

I started skating, trying to drown out my thoughts. What had Yurio told me? Ah, yes. Let's try the triple toe loop, arms in the air. _One, two..._

Imbalanced by my arms, I crashed on the side of my left leg.

"Yuuri!" I heard Victor exclaim. I stood up, ignoring the ache in my leg.

"I'm fine!" I called back. I had to focus.

 _You tend to flub your jumps when something is on your mind..._

Victor understood me like no one else. And yet...

 _Breathe._

I thought of last year's exhibition piece: Stand Close To Me. *(English translation at the end).

 _Sento una voce che piange lontano_  
 _Anche tu, sei stato forse abbandonato?_

It was such a beautiful piece...

I could feel tears prickling my eyes. Not now. I couldn't cry now, with so many people around. Especially when Victor was watching.

I blinked hard and tried to focus on another jump.

Triple Axel.

Miraculously, it landed.

 _Orsù finisca presto questo calice di vino_  
 _e inizio a prepararmi_  
 _Adesso fa' silenzio_

Footwork.

 _Con una spada vorrei tagliare quelle gole che cantano d'amore_  
 _Vorrei serrare nel gelo le mani che scrivono quei versi d'ardente passione_

Don't think of Victor.

Don't think of his eyes, his smile...

I flubbed another jump.

 _Questa storia che senso non ha_  
 _Svanirà questa notte assieme alle stelle_  
 _Se potessi vederti dalla speranza nascerà l'eternita_

How is that even possible? Don't think of Victor, don't think of the girl...

Another jump! A flip, perhaps?

I was pushing myself to the limit, beads of sweat dripping from my temples.

 _Stammi vicino, non te ne andare_  
 _Ho paura di perderti_

Success.

Now a combination spin.

 _Le tue mani, le tue gambe,_  
 _le mie mani, le mie gambe,_  
 _e i battiti del cuore_  
 _si fondono tra loro_

I'm afraid...

Please Victor.

Stay close to me.

I can't lose you.

 _Partiamo insieme_  
 _Ora sono pronto!_

I was breathless. There had been an uproar of applause the night I had performed this after the Grand Prix Final, and it was still ringing in my ears. I had been thinking of Victor then, just as I was now.

Victor loved another person.

It didn't seem true. It couldn't be true... It had to be a nightmare.

Yurio skidded to a stop beside me.

"Gather yourself, katsudon," he said. "Go rest. You've been through enough for one day."

I chuckled. Yes, I had been through enough for today. "Alright. Thanks, Yurio. For the pointers."

The corner of Yurio's mouth pulled into a smile, then fell into a frown again.

I left the rink and went into the changing room. Victor came in after me.

"Hey, Yuuri. Done for the day?"

"Yeah," I said. "When are you planning to get off?"

"Now," he said. "I'll come with you."

We changed, and started walking to his house. I had been there only this morning, to drop off my things after arriving from the airport. To think, Yurio was right: I really had been through a lot today.

"Your house is nice," I said to Victor as we walked. "And huge."

"Yeah," Victor laughed. "All of these old buildings are huge on the inside. That's why in the Soviet times several families used to live in separate rooms of one apartment. They called those kommunalkas."

"Ah. Is that what your apartment will turn into once your girlfriend moves in with us?"

Victor's smile faded.

"Don't say that, Yuuri. I would not move that fast... and besides, you should always feel at home there, with me."

"I know you don't move that fast, Victor," I said, anger rising in my voice. He'd just said something very sweet, but somehow I couldn't feel it. "That's why I don't understand this whole thing. All of a sudden, you're in love on a whim, with a girl you met two hours ago?"

Victor went quiet.

"Nevermind," he said.

This was just like Victor. His passive aggression caused him to fold like a flower, hiding his true thoughts and feelings. He read other people too well, but wouldn't allow the same for himself.

Why?

"Damn it, Victor," I muttered and hugged him. He looked taken aback at first, but hugged me back.

Victor had complicated reasons for everything. Those reasons could be wrong sometimes and required a pat on his thinning hair to remind him that he was not flawless. I just hoped this time I could find out what that reason was.

"Let's go home," he said softly in my ear. I concurred.

I walked into the living room, where Yurio was watching something on TV while munching on cereal. Victor came out of his room, fastening the buttons of his dress shirt. He smelled of bay leaf and looked gorgeous.

My heart sank when I realized why he dressed up.

"How do I look?" Victor asked with a soft smile.

"Like govno," Yurio remarked without taking his eyes off the TV screen. Yuuri couldn't help chuckling at the Russian word for shit.

Victor frowned. "At least Makkachin likes it," he said, when the poodle came to lick his hand. "Yuuri! What do you think?"

I looked him over. He had worn one of his finest Italian designer outfits. Then again, Victor's outfits were never anything less than immaculate.

"Perfect," I said wistfully.

Had Victor just blushed, or was it my imagination?

"I'm heading out, then!" he grinned brightly.

"Where are you going to take her?" I asked as we headed to the door. I didn't really want to know, but one couldn't help wondering.

"I'll take her to the Moskva Restaurant on the Vosstanya Square," Victor answered. He looked at his watch.

"Have a good time," I told him and locked the door behind him. Afterwards, I sat on the couch next to Yurio.

"He is such an idiot," Yurio muttered. "Getting all dressed up for that ugly fuck."

I shrugged and took a handful of his cereal. "Do you think he'll come back tonight?" I asked.

Yurio paused, uncertain of what to tell me. He didn't need to; I understood perfectly.

"I think I'll go to bed," I said, standing up.

He nodded. "Good night."

I'd honestly have preferred it if Yurio had wished me something like "Go drown in your sleep" instead, for I really felt like crawling under the bed-sheets to die.

I did end up crawling under the bed-sheets, but instead of dying, I lay awake, thinking of Victor.

I reached out and touched the ring around my finger. Had Victor been wearing it today? Or had he taken it off, so that the girl wouldn't misunderstand? I couldn't remember seeing it on him. Maybe after the GPF, it didn't mean anything to him anymore. He'd told me he wanted to be my coach until I retired... where was that man now? It felt like he flipped a switch.

I looked over at the far end of the bed, and the image of him sleeping popped into my head. Would he look as peaceful, as vulnerable, sleeping next to her?

The thought of him naked, breathing heavily, entangled with another person slowly killed me inside.

What would his moans sound like? What would make him moan? And when he came...

I felt myself harden at the thought.

 _Stop Yuuri. Stop._

I moaned, turning around in the bed. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't empty my mind. How could this be happening?

I fixed my eyes on the ceiling and lay there, motionless, for I don't know how long. When the heavy thudding on the door began, the digital clock by the bed told me it was 4:44 A.M.

I didn't react at first, thinking maybe I'd imagined it. But when the banging continued, something clicked inside me. Could it be?

I threw the bed-sheets aside and jumped on my feet, running to the door. When I reached it, the banging had stopped. I looked through the peeping hole, but there was no one on the other side. A bitter disappointment coursed through me. I had been wishing for Victor to return so badly that my mind had began playing tricks on me. And anyway, why would he come home at such a disastrous hour?

"Yuuri..." I thought I heard faintly. My heart started racing again. What if I hadn't imagined it?

I slowly opened the door, and found a disheveled Victor sitting on the floor, leaning against the door frame. His face was flushed pink and his breathing slow.

"Victor!" I exclaimed and bent down. The bay leaf smell was overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol. I put an arm around his torso and pulled him inside. He made an unintelligible sound and wrapped his arms around my neck. I closed the door and ushered him to his bedroom.

His looked at me through lidded eyes and smiled. He seemed unaware of things that happened around him; it was a miracle he found the way home.

"What happened to you, Victor?" I asked as I helped him into the bed.

His arms around my neck tightened and he nuzzled his nose in my hair.

I pulled away and started taking his clothes off. Once I removed his shirt, I froze.

There was the ring I had given him, hanging around his neck on a silver chain.

"Yuuri," he said again, his hand reaching for me. "Why arew whou vooking at meh...ike zat..." he drifted off.

"You're not making any sense right now, you drunk," I scolded him. He made a whimpering sound like his feelings were hurt.

"I'm sorry," I said immediately, tucking him under the sheets. I sat on the bed beside him to make sure he was still breathing. He looked as innocent as ever, droplets of water shining underneath his eyes.

"Victor..." I whispered, "Are you crying?"

He grabbed my hand and rolled over, causing me to wrap him in an embrace from behind.

"Stay Close to Me..." he whispered.

 **A/N: So there it is: you've reached the end for now. What do you think? Do you like the pace as it is now? Would you like some side stories including Yurio and other skaters to run parallel to the main story? I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

 **Also, do you guys prefer shorter chapters or longer chapters? Around how many words? I often can't decide at which point to end a chapter, and in all honesty I could go on for ages, so if you prefer shorter ones let me know.**

 **We used to live in an apartment on the Fontanka several years ago. Seeing it appear on YOI was a huge surprise, as you can imagine. Writing this brought back fond memories :)**

 **EDIT: Here are the English lyrics to Stay Close to Me.**

 **I hear a voice crying far away**

 **Have you been abandoned as well?**

 **Come now, let's empty this glass of wine soon**

 **I'll start getting ready**

 **Now be silent.**

 **With a sword I wish I could cut those throats singing about love**

 **I wish I could seal in the cold the hands that portray those verses of burning passion**

 **This story that makes no sense**

 **Will vanish tonight along with the stars**

 **If I could see you from hope eternity will be born**

 **Stay close to me, don't go**

 **I'm afraid of losing you**

 **Your hands, your legs,**

 **My hands, my legs,**

 **The heartbeats**

 **Are fusing together**

 **Let's leave together**

 **Now I'm ready**


	2. Chapter 2: The subtlety of sound

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for your wonderful comments :3 You guys are my motivation. I'll go back to ch.1 and add English translations for Stammi Vicino now. Without further ado, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

Victor and I didn't speak about that night. He acted as though he didn't remember a thing. Maybe he really didn't, but when he woke up on top of me next morning, he didn't look surprised.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he raised his eyes from where his head lay on my chest and smiled.

I forced my eyelids open and groaned at the harshness of the light entering through the curtains. When I came to, I pressed a hand on my mouth to keep my jaw from falling.

 _Victor and I slept in the same bed last night._

Victor slid out of the bed and yawned, stretching his back. He stumbled for a moment and held the bed-post for support, his other hand moving to his forehead. Then he acted like he didn't just get a bout of dizziness from all the alcohol he ingested last night, and said cheerily "Let's get some breakfast!"

I was too mortified to say anything.

During breakfast, Yurio suspiciously eyed Victor and me, while chewing his cereal. Then he gobbled down a small carton of milk and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. I couldn't bear to look at Victor, who sat beside me in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, the ring still hanging from his neck. He spread jam on a slice of bread.

"Russian jams are amazing," he said. "You should try some, Yuuri." He put the slice he'd been preparing on my plate.

"T-thanks, Victor," I managed to say as I took a bite. A rich flavor exploded in my mouth. "Mmm!" I exclaimed, my eyes sparkling. "They're vkusno!"

Victor smiled, his eyes becoming down-turned crescents. "I know right."

I managed a small smile but still felt incredibly tense, and that feeling continued for the rest of the day.

During practice, Victor checked his phone more often than he skated.

"Pinning for messages?" Georgi asked as he passed Victor.

"M-mm," Victor answered, looking at his screen.

"Ah, the trepidation of lovers~!" I really wanted to punch Georgi then.

Damn it. I was becoming like Yurio. Victor was turning me into a psychopath.

"Time for lunch," Mila said suddenly, skating past me.

"Not that place again," Georgi frowned.

"What's wrong with that place?" Mila asked, leaning on the dasher board, allowing a moderate view of her cleavage.

Georgi gulped.

"Moron," Yurio remarked as he stopped beside them. "Let's go. I'm starving." He paused. "Oi, Yuuri!" he called, "Are you coming?"

"Of course he is!" Mila scolded him, "And so is prince charming," she nodded towards Victor.

Yurio gritted his teeth. "What the hell, baba!"

"Coming!" Victor said as we left the rink. He was still looking at his phone, a pleasant smile plastered on his face.

We changed and left the compound. A cool breeze greeted us when we stepped outside, and the cawing of seagulls. The river appeared in the steely gray of a stormy day, it's surface a polished slab of lead. One couldn't help but surrender their gaze to the thoughts lurking in its depths...

 _Victor... what happened between you two last night?_

 _A luxurious restaurant filled with people polished to perfection-with pretty staff, pretty customers, pretty view, pretty decor. She had worn her prettiest dress and looked as cute as a button, her auburn hair cascading down her shoulders. You sat by the large windows, naturally, a single candle flickering at the center of the table. You swept her off her feet. The food was delicious, and you ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, with the best wine. A romantic instrumental piece played in the background, and the bustle of the city unraveled beneath your feet._

 _You looked into her eyes with love, and she turned her head away, embarrassed. You told her not to worry and took her hand... kissed it with your gentle lips... she turned to you and smiled. You were such a gentleman._

A tiny bell chimed, when Mila pushed open a heavy, wooden door.

We had arrived at a small, cozy shop on the right side of the street. One by one, we filed in, Victor close behind me. Had he noticed my brooding? Probably not, although he did appear unusually pensive. We sat on a table for four and Georgi went to buy us pirozhki. When he returned, Yurio took a huge bite from one of his little dough balls.

"Grandpa makes 'em bettewr," he said through a full mouth.

Next, Georgi and Yurio started bantering about what makes a good pirog. Victor listened to them with a smile. Something buzzed in his pocket, diluting his attention. He looked down. That's when Mila seized the moment.

"So," she said, completely ignoring Georgi and Yurio, and glad that there was something finally worth her interest. "How was last night?"

Victor looked up and his mouth turn into a small frown. "Hmm?"

"You know! With Irina? You did go out, didn't you?"

Mila had asked something I had been wondering about, but hadn't found the nerve to ask myself. Honestly, I didn't want to hear about their wonderful night. All I wanted to know was how... how Victor ended up... in bed with me.

"Mm," Victor said, and smiled maliciously. "You would like to know, wouldn't you?"

Mila nodded. "Well, go on! Speak!"

Victor scratched his chin and looked at the ceiling briefly.

"It was wonderful!" He said suddenly, and continued enthusiastically, "First, we ordered an assortment of meats, and some salad to go with it. Soup, of course. Grilled Tuna as a main dish, and Arcione wine. They had the sweetest waiters, and everything was absolutely delicious. She loved it."

She loved it, huh?

The doting with which Victor described her enjoyment pained me. Why, Victor? Can't you see the pain I'm in?

But Victor made an effort not to look at me.

"Not the food, you dork! How was _she_?" Mila insisted.

Victor's enthusiasm dimmed, and a peaceful smile graced his lips. "The woman of my dreams, Mila," he said.

That's it. I couldn't take it anymore.

I had to do something, I had to say something... but what? What could I do that wouldn't humiliate me in Victor's eyes... or worse, humiliate Victor?

Nothing, except act like everything was alright. Yet the longer I sat, the harsher the tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I had to distract myself, or at least find an excuse for being sad. So I flipped out my phone, and started scrolling through Instagram posts. I hadn't been expecting it at all when it hit me: a photo of Irina and Victor sitting at a table, smiling. They both looked perfect. And happy.

That's when the tears started to fall.

I brushed them away with the back of my hand as quickly as possible, but everyone at the table had already noticed.

"Yuuri? What happened?" Mila asked.

"N-nothing," I said, chuckling between my sniffles. I felt horrible and somewhat relieved at the same time, as though someone had dumped a bucket of ice water down my back. "I just... saw a post, on Instagram... about a badly injured wolf, and it broke my heart..." I ended quietly.

"Ah, sweet, sensitive Yuuri," Georgi said profoundly. "I can sense the heartbreak in your soul."

Yurio stared at me with an Are-You-Fucking-Kidding-Me face, then shrugged and said "Moron pig."

I smiled. Mila put an arm around me and gave me a squeeze. "Don't worry, Yuuri. He'll become an angel in puppy heaven."

Only Victor watched me quietly, finally allowing his eyes to rest on my face.

We left shortly after.

Yurio said he planned on dropping by Yakov for a small chat, and left.

Finally, Victor and I were alone.

We walked home, quietly.

"No plans for today?" I asked, sparking conversation.

"We agreed to meet at the Mars Field," Victor replied, looking out onto the river.

"Oh." I took a deep breath. "Victor," I said, "Do you really love Irina?"

Victor stopped and looked at me with a slight frown. "Of course I do."

"But-"

"What is this about, Yuuri?" Victor interrupted me, a dangerous hint in his voice.

I gritted my teeth; I would not be intimidated so easily. "You know perfectly well. Are you even dating someone?"

Victor chuckled, but there was something off about it. It didn't sound like his usual laughs; it had a dark, malicious quality. "You are unbelievable Yuuri! What makes you even doubt such a thing?"

" _I_ found you last night, Victor! Passed out and calling my name, begging me to stay close to you! Don't ever try telling me I'm delirious; I know what happened. You're not happy... and I don't know your reasons for doing this... but you're hurting yourself."

He looked surprised and hurt by my outburst, but only for an instant. His face hardened.

"Don't be so full of yourself, little piggy," he said venomously. "Just because I got drunk after dropping her at home and came to you for help, it doesn't mean I want to hear unwarranted advice from you. Irina is a wonderful woman. I'm in love with her."

Ouch.

That hurt, a lot.

"Excuse me for wanting the best for you," I muttered, admitting my defeat. Why had I even started talking?

"And what would that be?" Victor didn't stop there. He hadn't taken out his anger yet. "You?"

Tears filled my eyes, and I turned away so he couldn't see them. "I just don't want you to get hurt," I said softly.

"Don't," Victor ended. He turned around, the tail of his long coat fluttering behind him, and walked away. I stood at the edge of the bridge, my tears merging into the river, adding new memories into its depths.

The sun had begun to set once I could get moving again. I didn't know in which direction to go, so I decided to go in the direction my feet took me. Swarms of people and lights passed by, some of them running in to me and swearing under their breath. Why were Russian people so hard to get along with?

I dragged my feet and sat on a bench in a beautiful park. There was a flame at the center, and some people had gathered around it to take pictures. I tilted my heart back and watched the stars that has started to appear in the sky.

Where to go next?

I didn't want to return to the apartment, and the ice rink would not admit me at this hour. I missed Hasetsu...

And yet, some part of me couldn't bear to leave Victor.

Victor...

Victor?

"You look so beautiful under the street lights," a tender voice cooed. A girl giggled.

My eyes searched for the source of the sounds. Then I saw it, behind the bushes.

"Allow me..." his hand reached out to her blonde hair and pushed it behind her ear. Her sapphire blue eyes sparkled with mirth.

"Oh, Victor..."

He leaned down and kissed her on her plump, rosy lips. She gave out a mellow moan. Victor leaned in deeper, his hands reaching around her waist and neck to pull her closer.

She looked young, and beautiful. She couldn't be older than 23.

Irina put a hand on Victor's chest and pushed him away, gently.

"Let's continue this somewhere else," she whispered, out of breath. I got a view of Victor's eyes at that moment, and they looked aflame with lust. He nodded and took her hand, leading her away.

My heart ready to burst out of my chest, I remained on the bench, waiting for my nerves to calm down.

But they didn't.

Eventually, I jumped out of my seat and started running, trying to expend the heat and the energy by removing my coat and allowing the cold to set in. I ran as far as my legs would take me, in the opposite direction of Victor and Irina. I didn't feel the cold; I didn't feel the fatigue; I didn't feel anything, except the violent beating of my heart and the icy air prickling my throat with every breath.

 _I want to die_ , I thought when I stopped to catch my breath, the tears on my face turning to ice.

A loud honk caused me to jump, as a car broke left and whizzed past. I realized I was standing in the middle of the cross-way at a red light. Slowly, I straightened my back and reached the sidewalk.

I was able to start thinking sensibly again. So I stopped and took a deep breath.

What now?

 **A/N: GUYS! I LOVE YURIO. I'm sorry I called him a psychopath T-T**

 **Here is something I originally planned to involve in this chapter but didn't. I hope this makes up for the angst somewhat.**

 **"Hey, Yuuri," Victor said with a smile. "How about we get some ice cream?"**

 **I smiled. "It sounds wonderful."**


	3. Chapter 3: Threads entangled

**A/N: I feel like I should include a trigger warning. There is reference to rape in this chapter.**

 **Bright side: this chapter is in Victor's POV, so you'll get some insight into his thoughts.**

"I can't believe you did that to the katsudon."

Yurio dried his hair with a towel, scowling. Another white towel was wrapped around his waist, leaving his toned chest bare.

"I had no other choice," I said, without looking at him. I couldn't stand facing him. I had never felt ashamed in front of Yurio before.

"It's cruel," he deadpanned. "Do you know what you're doing to him?"

"I'm doing what needs to be done," I replied defensively. Yurio punched the wall, but I didn't flinch.

"You're destroying him!"

"I'm saving him."

"Bullshit."

My eyes filled with tears, and I blinked them away, standing up. "Trust me," I said. "It's best for Yuuri to be as far away from me as possible... to have a shot at a good life."

"What are you talking about?" Yurio asked, calmer, but confused.

For a moment, I thought I could tell him... but how? How did someone say something like this?

Instead, I smiled. "You must be hungry. I'll prepare dinner."

I left the room, ignoring his stunned silence.

However, once I entered the kitchen, I found a surprise. A whole tray of chocolate cupcakes, and mittens left carelessly on the counter.

Yurio didn't know the first thing about baking... which could mean only one thing.

Makkachin approached me, whining and rubbing his nose into my leg.

"Makkachin..." my voice broke. I knelt down beside him and hugged him. The poodle licked my face, as if to tell me he understood.

 _You're destroying him..._

No. That can't be true.

I'd anticipated Yuuri to suffer... but it wouldn't destroy him.

Right?

"What am I supposed to do, Makkachin?" I said, speaking into his thick fur. He whined again, sharing my sorrow.

I felt a heavy shove on my shoulder. No, it was a kick. Ow.

"Cut it out, moron," Yurio growled. He pushed me aside. Makkachin grunted and calmly walked away.

Silently, Yurio waked to the counter and started making tea. He took two plates and placed a cupcake on each of them. "Take these to the living room," he ordered. In a minute, he joined me with two cups of steaming Earl Grey Tea.

"I love this fragrance," I said, sipping the tea. I couldn't bring myself to touch the cupcakes, and yet they looked delicious.

"Tell me what's going on."

I looked up at Yurio's steely eyes and tightened my jaw. Makkachin sat by the coffee table, watching us. An eery silence settled. What better time to say it than this?

I took a deep breath.

"Remember that time I went out for lunch?"

 _Several days ago._

"I'm heading out! Do you guys want anything?"

The Russian skaters all seemed too focused. They thanked me, but Yurio ignored me. Nothing surprising there.

I looked over at Yuuri, who was on the far side of the rink, practicing his jumps.

"Yuuri!"

Yuuri looked at me and smiled.

"I want to get this one down. You go ahead for now. Bon apetit!"

"Alright," I smiled back, hiding my disappointment. I admired Yuuri for his determination. I decided I'd bring him something nice to eat from the restaurant; he deserved it.

The restaurant was five blocks away. Not too far, but still quite a walk from the rink. I reached the restaurant after a ten minute walk and sat down inside. A pretty attendant approached me to take my order.

"Hey... you're Victor Nikiforov..." she blushed. I smiled at her.

"Yes, I am."

"I'm a fan," she continued. "I've been watching your every performance since your Juniors championship. You're amazing. I'm so glad you've announced your return this year."

"Ah, thanks," I said.

"Do you mind if we take a quick selfie?"

"No, of course not." I stood up and posed for a photo.

"Thanks. What will you order?"

I ordered two pork cutlets with a side of rice, one of them to go.

"Ah," the waitress smiled. "This is for you Japanese boyfriend, no?"

I smirked. "Fiancée, actually."

"I see," she was grinning now. "Two pork cutlets, coming right up."

She waltzed away.

The man sitting on the table across had been listening to us. I turned my smile on him.

"Another fan?" I asked.

He turned away and grumbled an unpleasant phrase in Russian. Afterwards, he emptied some money from his pocket on the table and left. A waiter stopped by and took the cash.

The waitress returned with my meal.

"Here you are," she said. "I'll bring your package on the way out." I thanked her.

A blonde woman walked inside the restaurant. I didn't notice her at first, but she sat on the empty chair the man had just vacated. She was alone. She began digging in her bag for her phone when the waiter approached her and handed her a menu. She thanked him meekly and started looking through it. When the waiter came to take her order, she looked up: that's when she saw me.

Stammering, she ordered a Borscht, and the waiter left.

I finished eating and paid the bill. The waitress thanked me, brought my package, and I left the restaurant. I had taken but ten steps, when I heard the restaurant door open and someone run after me. I turned around and saw the girl from the table.

Breathless, she handed me a piece of paper and smiled. Before I could say anything, she ran back into the restaurant, probably to avoid confusion.

I looked down at the paper. She had given me her number, and her name: Irina. I chuckled, and considered throwing it away. Then I thought of the girl, her excitement, and decided to chuck it once I was further away from her.

I started walking back to the rink. I took the road passing by an old construction site.

The air was so cold...

I kept walking, turning my collar up against the wind. Just then, I felt a pain on the back of my neck, and dark circles attacked my vision. Last thing I remembered was pork cutlets hitting the ground, and then I passed out.

When I came to, I found myself lying face first on the concrete of the abandoned construction site. My muscles ached violently, especially my thighs, and my clothes had been stripped. I tried to push myself up, but cold object against the nape of my neck stopped me.

Something leaned in, its body pressing against me, its warm breath on my ear.

"You faggots deserve much worse," a graveled voice grunted. I sucked in a breath. I recognized the voice. "You're lucky I'll let you off with just this. Next time, we won't be as merciful."

He hit me one last time, and disappeared.

For several minutes, I lay on the ground, freezing and paralyzed, my heart threatening to rip through my skin. I couldn't stop the shaking in my hands, or get my breath in order. I squeezed my eyes shut and curled over, wrapping myself in my arms.

 _You're stronger than this. You're stronger than this. You're stronger than this._

 _You need to get back and act like nothing happened._

 _This can't touch you. This can't hurt you. This is nothing. You're stronger than this._

I thought I would never have to live through this nightmare again.

 _You're better than this. You defeated this. It can't touch you. It can't hurt you._

It can't hurt me.

I'm stronger than this.

But what about Yuuri?

My naive little Japanese katsudon... how was I to protect him? He would never be safe as long as he was close to me.

I heaved myself up and straightened my clothes, making sure the bruises on my torso and legs were safely hidden under my clothes. After brushing off the dust, I entered the nearest bathroom to wash up, and then started running back to the ice rink.

How much time had passed?

Only ten minutes.

It had felt like time had stopped, but apparently not.

I pulled out my phone and typed in a text.

"I'd like to get to know you."

Send.

This had to work.

It was my only hope.

 _Present day._

Yurio simply stared.

"The bruises..." he whispered. "I thought... I thought you got them during practice."

I shook my head.

Yurio reached out and hugged me.

"I understand," he said. "You were alone and afraid... but you should have told us right away, Victor. Asked for help. What you did... it was irrational. They can't hurt you. You can fight against them. You can get Yuuri back."

"In Russia?" I exclaimed. "Do you think anyone is going to care? And what about the press? Do you think they'll cease attacking us with this, ever?"

Yurio's face turned pensive.

"Still," he said. "The way you dealt with it... estranging Yuuri? That's not the way to deal with this, Victor."

"I have to protect him," I said simply. "I can't let him get hurt like this, because of me."

"You're not protecting him. You're traumatizing him."

I looked at Yurio's solemn eyes. Perhaps he was right, perhaps not.

I didn't know.

I couldn't say anything in response.

Had I made a grave mistake?

 **A/N: This chapter is slightly shorter than the other ones, partly because I wanted to end it here, and also because it was such an emotional hurdle to write this. If you follow some Russian or LGBTQ politics, you'll be aware of Russia'a anti-gay laws, which has spurred out lash against the government but also increased discrimination and harassment of LGBTQ people. This chapter was, in part, inspired by the consequences of that law, without any relation to real persons or events, of course. On a further note, my classes are starting this Monday, but I'll still try to update regularly.**

 **And don't worry. Everything is going to be alright.**

 **EDIT: So, some of you might have noticed that I posted this without proof reading it first... because heck, I couldn't bring myself to read it after I'd finished writing. Which is why I've went back and corrected some mistakes, hence the update.**

 **I would very much appreciate it if you guys could share your thoughts about this chapter. What could use improvement?**

 **Thank you all so much, and take care until next time.**


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